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This isn’t a blog post telling you that the way I married my significant other is superior to the way you did. Our story is not what most would consider normal in today’s day and age. Each guy I have dated has been very different from the last. It’s just that…some stories are more culturally accepted as normal.I wish we never did because when we broke up, even though it was amicable, I lost someone that otherwise could have been a friend for life.He was a really special person, and although it wouldn't have worked out romantically, I would give anything to go back in time and keep him as a friend." —Jessica, 29"It ruined other friendships""Our relationship grew out of a very close friendship, and for a little over a year, it was wonderful. We had different expectations for the relationship, and from there, we were doomed.The friend whose house we were at came over to me and said “Hey, go flirt with Tim. We had great conversation and shared appetizers, entrees and on a whim he purchased a 0 half bottle of dessert wine (I later found out that he got paid that day so he was trying to impress me). After dinner we decided to drive up to Lake Tahoe and go for a swim under the moon. After our dip in our underwear, we sat on the shore and saw several shooting stars in a matter of minutes while drying off. We drove back to Reno, went to another bar that was close to my house and had a couple more drinks. After I was finished moving I called him and he was grabbing a beer with a friend so I met up with him. He wanted me to use the “wedding money” for a down payment on a house, an extended honeymoon, or for starting my own business. He just didn’t see the value in having a big, expensive wedding. Since my dad passed away, I wouldn’t really have the means to pay for a big wedding anyways. We were looking longingly into each other’s eye, warbling, whispering sweet nothings, and swapping saliva. They hope that getting married will somehow salvage their broken relationship. Why not make the honeymoon phase the foundation for our marriage? The coolest thing about our marriage is that it still feels like we are in the honeymoon phase.He’s single right now.”I said, “I’m not single...” And my friend said, “Yeah, but your man is 6,000 miles away, and all you do is fight.” Or something along those lines…So I walked up to him and introduced myself. I remember him being handsome and polite…But that’s about it. I was single and going on way too many Tinder dates. Around 3AM he walked me home and kissed me goodnight. We got dinner, walked around downtown, then he showed me his place. And having grown up in Reno, an elopement wasn’t out of the ordinary. And it wasn’t something I was willing to put myself and my future husband into debt over. Our friend said “Will you guys just get married already? It isn’t about how long you’ve been together, it’s about the foundation you’ve built together, right? My dad remarried very quickly after my parent’s second divorce, and then passed away when I was 17. I think that is because of the precedent that we have set for our relationship early on. [Mostly because we are both stubborn assholes.] I promised myself a long time ago that I would get married once and only once.We met late in the summer of 2013 at a mutual friend’s BBQ. Going to that wedding with him, made it very clear to me that I was in love with him. I don’t really know how to put our connection into words. I never really dated a guy that had similar interests as me, had similar style to mine, or that would be considered as ‘my type’. There was one thing that really struck me about him… Since we had so many mutual friends, it was the people around who adored him. You’re then in a constant power struggle for the upper hand in the relationship.We were both in unhealthy, on & off, long term [and long distance in my case] relationships. We both knew the couple getting married so it wasn’t awkward. When I was around him I didn’t think about anyone else, I didn’t want to look at my phone, and I didn’t think about how the life I had known for the last four years was falling apart right under me. I was constantly being told how great of a guy he was and how much he was admired by people that I knew and trusted.“Elena, if you elope…I will cut you a fat check.” My dad was a wonderful man, but he had terrible luck with women. You decide to stay together because you are inconvenienced by the thought of starting over with someone new.

friends for two years before dating-78friends for two years before dating-72

That’s much the way things are again now—and I had missed it …This guy and I have had a huge history over the last 5 years.Although we’ve never dated, we’ve been friends with benefits.after nearly three years of silence.♦◊♦Nine months ago, I made the decision to marry my husband, to take the vows and make our love and happiness legal and public.Before that, we had been engaged for two years with a relatively short courtship of six months (including one “lost month” —read: John Lennon and Yoko Ono).




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